Tuesday, January 02, 2007

From what I know, there's something in me that's just different from this world.

Disclaimer first....that I'm not boasting. You may find this in you too. I won't be surprised.

There's something in me which wants to make a difference. It wants to have a proactive part to play in the course of things. Yes, making a difference (I know you heard that many times), not waiting for a difference.

Like, I don't need drugs or alcohol to make myself rot, just inactivity, passiveness. Yeah, just daydream, do nothing, talk only, fantasize, wonder, etc.

But in many cases, this 'thing' has been pacified by peer pressure, complacency and procrastination.

Just to sidetrack, the reason why I love war-films (with all the battle scenes) is because the soldiers are doing something. They have an active and crucial role to play. They are giving up their lives for a cause. Seeing them charge at the frontlines gives me the adrenaline rush. Partially due to effects or dynamic cinematography, but mainly because the 'thing' in me wishes to do the same.

Gore and bloodshed aside, sometimes I feel like jumping into the screen and have a part to play in the war.


That's about making a difference. Life, you can say consists of several battles. And as Christians, yes, there's spiritual warfare waging around us as well.

In fact, we are participating in the war whether we know it or not. We all have a part to play. That's why the Bible mentions about the armour of God.

I realised that many times, at most, I'm just cheering on my fellow comrades in the battlefield. I hide behind cover and in the safety of the barracks while they charge and march forward. But God somehow made me realise that I'm not made for this. Through certain events He somehow transferred me back to the frontlines.

Feels and sounds scary to me at first, but I know that this is something I have to do. I need to do something about it.

I want to be in the frontlines. I want to trade my life for His glory, my blood for His honour. All that I have for Him. Bullets may whiz pass me (peer pressure) and shrapnel pierce me (persecution) but I know that it's worth it.

Some thing is only worth living for, if it's worth dying for.


Been exceptionally encouraged by the book I borrowed which talks about the lives of Chinese missionaries, in their vision and efforts to spread the gospel in the strongholds of Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism.

It's not that we need to become missionaries to live a life worthy of God. What we need is their passion and attitude. That's what makes the difference.

(I'm not out of my mind when I'm typing this.) I thank God for allowing all the adversities, trials, tribulations and hardships in my life. Thank you God for all these. My character can only be refined in the furnace of affliction and hardened under the pressures of life.


manu0liv1 said...


well i have been really encouraged by your helpfulness and supportiveness.

proactiveness doesn't always mean having to be in the frontlines. but it means doing ur best in whatever u've been asked to do & obeying readily.

mimosa said...


Not sure if you've read ur x'mas present.. God made men (i mean males here and not humans in general) to be have a warrior heart.

Godly ambition is different from the type of ambition we see in the world.

God will use those who avail themselves. Don't forget to rest in Him as well.

He makes all things beautiful, in His time.