The Beauty of the Lord

Once again, I shall make the resolve to live everyday for the beauty of the Lord.

There are NO substitutes, NO other ways, NO one else, NOthing else, NONE other, than God Himself.

The cry in my heart seems to grow louder and louder each day. It's not that I'm depressed...OKAY...for goodness' sake I am depressed, discouraged and disappointed when I look at certain things or people around me. There's NO doubt in that.

But God is the reason I hold on, the reason I press on, the reason I fight for joy in all that I do.

Even if people (for your info, dealing with people is one of my weakest areas) hate me, spite me, turn me away, ridicule me, say things about me, scheme against me, etc, I shall still cling unto the Lord, if not, continue to pray for grace that I will continue to love Him wholeheartedly and be faithful unto Him.

Back to the "Is Dom really depressed?" part: I really, really thank God for His grace and the inspiring and encouraging people He placed around me who really helped me open and keep my eyes open to the fact and marvel that God is a God of hope.

In other words, my flesh is terribly saddened, discouraged and sometimes terrified by the way some people live their lifes and by the way people are so satisfied with status quo. 

(By the way, I recently realised that if there's one thing that excites me a lot other than guitars and dark chocolate, it will be to help/point others away from their worldly lifestyles to God - from aimlessness/worldliness/status quo to godly destiny and purpose)

But my spirit cannot help but to be amazed that God is really a God of the impossible. That He changes people, He restores, heals and can use even the most disastrous of circumstances for His glory and the good of His people.

My inner man cries for heaven. For Him to take me home. Hahaa...I'm not edging on suicidal thoughts, but imagine this: if a tinge/hint of God (through revelation, His word, people He use, circumstances, etc) can so refresh/awaken/revive/captivate you, how much more when you meet Him? 

So, I'm glad in both ways. That I'm delighted that I'm still around here in this fallen world with fallen people because this is indeed an abundance of opportunities to work with Him to unveil the eyes of the lost and to see Him work His ways. And I'm also joyful that while now we see His hand moving in our midst, then shall we see Him FACE to FACE.

Thank You and love You, Lord...;)

Many things happening, much to learn and experience

Everglow Camp.

I didn't expect the bonding within the committee to be so strong that whenever I see them in the post-camp light, it still feels like we still running the camp itself.

One amazing thing I took home from the camp was the ability to exercise and see the value and potential in being consistent in things.

Lessons learnt. Not merely about spiritual climaxes nor emotional highs but the willingness to keep the fire burning even when the 'mountain-top' experiences are over. That we'll still run the race and stay true to our commitments and convictions even when people or things tell us to do otherwise.

Friendships. Not merely restricted to roles, responsibilities nor context. If we became friends in Everglow, we are friends in church, in the hawker center or anywhere else. And we'll keep it that way! ;)

Eye for details. Better to over-check than to under-check. Don't assume nor presume. Even God works with the details - cells, molecules, electrons, positrons, quarks, etc - and He's wonderful at it. It's the details which power the bigger picture. Just like the individual pixels which make up the entire image.

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God's supernatural amendment of fractured friendships.

Recently, I've experienced the 2nd occurence of this. I can only stand in awe that God is One who will work and move at His perfect timing. That if you surrender anything to God, be prepared to be blown away.

Just as I was close to forsaking and giving up on a friendship, God came to the rescue. Could it be because I casually asked God to fix it if possible, even without much hope nor enthusiasm? On the brink of walking away, I thought that perhaps this was the way to avoid future or further conflicts and rough scrapping between the both of us.

Not really a cold war per se. But something like "let's talk only if there's a need to" and "flee from existing social setting if necessary to avoid 'weirdness'".

But now I'm able to look at the person in the eye when conversing. Previously I talk with my shield before me and sword in its shieve, but now I've somehow left my defences behind and extended myself in the interaction process - the way true friends do it.

Hmmm....I still don't understand the reason for this happening...but it's supernatural and good, for sure...

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The band.

5 of us. And I don't think we'll be calling ourselves "The Rubber Band".

Yes, I'm enthusiastic and excited about it, but I'm concerned about the intricate details of it all. It's one thing to move ahead and be willing to learn along the way (this is a GOOD thing), but it's another thing to plan well, forsee the things you will encounter and estimate the costs.

Even though our scheduled first meet up and jam session is more like "see-how-it-goes", but I have to be firm with fellow members that it is something that we are SERIOUSLY going into. Yep, it's a commitment...

All in all, I'm truly grateful and humbled that we are willing to do something about our musical talents - to take it to a higher level and to be open to learn new stuff along the way. I'm not sure how things will be like, but I'm sure it will be challenging, stretching, enriching and eye-opening.

Onward to our first meet-up then!

The Launch of NTU Cell's 1st prayer gathering

Could this be the birth of NTU Cell's prayer ministry? Of course it can!!

Came back not too long from school. Gathered with my cellmates (Joy, Champ and La) to pray for our school, in school.

Haha...we walked around school to find a room but couldn't really find one. Thankfully, we managed to find the Bio Science's pantry room which looked conducive for prayer.

And then we went....we settled in, worshiped, shared about life and prayed for our school.

2nd radicalness of 2008: I was there at NTU Cell's first prayer gathering (or ministry, in time to come). And I'm excited about it!

Last time I was convinced my cell was stagnant and was too inward-looking. But then I prayed and asked God to work in our members' hearts and lives.

Then today, I can see my cell members committing their time and a portion of their lives praying for their school.

It's simply amazing how God works...

We covered 2 areas:

1. Thanking God for our school

- professors, teachers, deans, tutors, etc
- classmates, schoolmates, peers
- curriculum
- lectures, tutorials, assignments, projects, etc

2. Claim our place in school

- 1 Cor 15:58
- every Christian to rise up to take the place God has placed him/her in
- all to be submitted and yielded to God's calling and purpose

Hallelujah! If this continues, God is surely gonna blow me off my socks once more.

And I believe He is going too! Thank you, Lord! More of You and less of us!

first day of school...

Definitely did not have enough sleep and my bio-clock's still not normal. The anticipation and adrenalin associated with the commencement of school started to wear of at around 4pm plus. From then on, I felt very sleepy...

Got back home in the evening and did what I usually do - organize the notes I just bought for the semester, sort them out into their respective files, punch holes and staple 'em.

I looked at my shelf and spotted many sets of personal lecture notes which I crafted by myself since year 1, sem 1. Thing is, I've been hoarding my personal notes for way too long already.

If I had distributed them previously, friends would have benefited from them.

1st radicalness of 2008: I decided to bundle last sem's notes neatly to pass them to my friends tomorrow.

No more hoarding of my stuff. God finally softened my heart and convinced me that blessing others with my hand-crafted notes is better than me hoarding them for myself.

Yes...I used to be very protective and defensive over them. Because I've spent long hours doing them up from scratch and I've seen them from conception to the end of the exam (for that particular subject).

So when the exam's over, I ought to pass it to someone else, in order to bless and benefit him/her.

Thank You, Lord, for that change in heart!

God is really real...

Yesterday during service, God spoke to me through the programme, the flow of events, the worship and a brother's testimony with regards to my previous blog entry "Bluntly Speaking 3".

A very long time ago, I was actually wondering if God is real, could He send me an SMS? But this time, He responded to my blog entry and I knew for certain that He's really real....as simple as that.

I myself can see and feel God working mightily and sovereignly in my life after I decided to make an intentional, conscious effort to seek Him with all I am.

Holding nothing back in our service, ministry and worship unto God is something which He desires.

• I'm tired and sleepy, yet I choose to wake up early to pray.
• We're doing our own things, chatting about stuff, yet we decided to stop everything to seek God.
• I will normally go ahead with my work, but I stopped in my tracks to talk to God.
• I choose to make it a point to pray.
• I intentionally seek God, not due to events or circumstances.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29

Yesterday was my first time attending the overnight prayer. It's from 11.45pm - 6am.

During the event and all, we prayed for homosexuality issues in our world and in our nation as well as the 3 different ministries in church - [1] youth, [2] children and [3] healing and counselling.

At around 5 plus (where the praying peaked), I was almost on the verge of dozing off and even had to force my eyes open to pray, if not I won't be surprised if my mind happened to drift away in thoughts.

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The previous Saturday marks the end of my 8-lesson guitar module for intermediate players.

It was really an experience attending the lessons.

Firstly, I had to wake up very early in the morning and I usually suffer from the lack of sleep because my events and plans for Fridays always end quite late.

Secondly, I was really inspired by the technical skills and passion which the teachers displayed. I find myself wanting to improve my abilities so that one day I can 'be like them'.

Thirdly, my playing style was shaken up violently by the honest and straightforward comments which they made. One of the teachers was very strict with us, yet so accurate in pinpointing the areas which we have to improve.

All in all, I wouldn't be playing what I'm currently playing if not for the teachers and their lessons. Even if I had to endure and bear many things in mind, it was still worth it at the end of the day.

3 papers down, 3 more to go!

This morning's Computing paper wasn't as nerve-wrecking as I thought it was to be. Thank God for His comfort, reassurance and most of all, His wisdom.

I've never felt this confident in dealing with a paper of a subject which I can't really get a hang of. I was uncertain and definitely anxious about it at first.

A glance at the past year papers invokes unspeakable fear and stress in me.

"How am I going to handle these questions?" "What if this sort of stuff really come out?"

Fears, uncertainties, worries, concerns, etc. The whole band of emotional stress twisting my head in knots, including the apparent fatigue and exhaustion from lack of sleep.

But God overcame them all.

And lifted me high above my problems.

Those who soar on wings of eagles will realise that the size of their problems is not a matter of difficulty but of perception.