That day was 10th April, 2009, Good Friday. One of the Fridays which I will never forget. One of the days when the values which I defended came under a heavy barrage of "persecution and criticisms" from my fellow sisters-in-Christ.
You may know who you are. But the thing is that it's not about you two...it's about what the world has somehow gotten us into believing.
After an eventful day at church with all the ministry and intimate moments with God, the pack, as per normal, decided to head to Vivocity for dinner. Fast forward to dinner time, due to the space constraints in Food Republic, the pack decided to be seated separately in 2 groups, G1 and G2 (which I'm in).
And as usual, the pack members will have their usual talk about stuff ranging from life, school, people, trends, chocolate (Kinder Bueno?), ambition, culture, etc. As G2 decided that we should make a move, G2 walked over to G1's table to signal "Hey guys, I think we should make a move, cause we've been here long enough."
One of my very close counterpart, M1, was in G1 and he mentioned to me that they were talking about the guy-and-girl related stuff. The main gist that G1 told me was that, "Guys are generally superficial (when it comes to going about girls), while girls go for personality (when it comes to guy hunting)."
I thought to myself...wow...what strong stereotypes. And the one sentence which M1 told me, which was mentioned in G1's discussion is, "
....Christians guys are no different from the other men." Yeah, that sentence was mentioned either my F1 or F2, the girls from G1. And that really pissed me off. I was severely disturbed and perturbed and if you ask the other guys there, they could really tell from my facial expression that something is boiling deep within me.
One of the natural, instinctive response that came to mind was the blast the shit out of F1 and F2 - as an act of defense to the infringement of the pride of the male gender. It did not feel right nor justifiable that members of the opposite gender could utter such remarks about our side.
And this time, I didn't feel like hurling my spear at F1 or F2. I felt like discharging my depleted-uranium tipped nuclear warheads at them. Yes, and M1 told me that it feels as if the male species were "cruxified" that very day.
The pack adjourned to Harbourfront's McDonald's either for a supper and/or a continuation/conclusion of the hot discussion and debate from G1.
At that moment I couldn't even stand the sight of F1 and F2 cause they were sitting so close in front of and facing me. And suprisingly some moments later, my emotions were turning from rage to grief. Yes, I felt like going home to my quiet space with God and cry out to Him, for them. I was deeply saddened by how they could buy in to the notion that Christians guys are no different from the world. It feels as if the God we (both genders) worship doesn't matter after all. It feels as if whatever work that God has done for us, guys, in preparation for marriage is crap. And I personally feel that the values which I hold deeply to my heart (like faithfulness/obedience to God, purity, love, godly sacrifice) has been trampled on.
So after some conversations within the new group, G3 (which equals G1+G2), M1, F1 and I happened to talk about marriage...things like: [1] if we will still be attractive to our spouses, say, 20plus years down the road, [2] will we get bored of our spouse many years later. M1 mentioned about his parents - that after so many years of marriage, they still love each other and are discovering new things between themselves.
Haha...then this topic caught the ears of F2 and F3 (gal from G2), who joined the conversation. Then we talked about how women can be overly-complicated about things and that guys are way too simplified - that's why they don't understand girls. At this instance I felt something welling up inside of me, waiting to be released. And so, I said something like, "Even if a married coupled has been together for such a long time, it is, in fact, an exciting challenge for them to keep the love going and to keep finding out new things about each other. Even though there are temptations out there and so many other choices (like flirting with other younger and hotter women), the man's love for his wife is proved worthy and genuine if he chooses to stick to his wife."
And then something unseen happened. My take is that after all the conversations between the M's and F's that day, God was doing something in our midst. Strongholds of worldly perception and values were taken down and replaced with God's truth.
You know we can always use the excuse "women are complicated" to defend ourselves or to push them aside. And they can always say that "men are trivial - they will never get me". But godly love is one that doesn't make or take excuses. Despite them (girls) taking things differently, that doesn't mean we (guys) don't extend a helping hand or a listening ear towards them. Girls may be more sensitive emotionally, which means that guys must be more considerate in the way we deal with them. It is genuine love that will eventually melt down all defenses, skepticism and negativity.
The following day I happened to tell M1, "It won't be surprising that if guys in church don't rise up to encourage, comfort, listen to, inspire, lead, and love their sisters as themselves, that our sisters look elsewhere (outside church) for that."
Sometimes when God kills something or allows it to die in us, He definitely has His reasons. And on that day things died, but better things were revived. Because Jesus rose from the dead, we have more than enough reason to put our faith in Him. That He is the God who is hope, who is love, who brings breakthrough and transformation.
Thank you, my beloved Lord and King...
