Saturday, April 12, 2008

Clique-kishness

The upside about being clique-ky (okay...i shall just call it 'clicky') is that the bonds forged within the group are reinforced each time round. Members within the clique will soon feel comfortable to be themselves - to share their heart-felt concerns, to give and receive honest feedback, to poke fun of others, to gossip (muahaa), etc.

This clique then becomes a very powerful entity in the larger community. Mobilise the clique and things will be effectively and efficiently done.

What I'm concerned with is that being too attached to a particular clique can have certain social drawbacks in some scenarios.

I've seen them at play in school and in church.

Lemme give an example.

A particular cell member of mine invited my cell over to her church's party - chill-out style, with live band performances and snacks all over the house. We went and we enjoyed ourselves, surely.

But as I was walking away from that place after saying the "good-byes" and such, I quickly went through what we did socially, and realised that it could have been better.

Honestly speaking, if not for the live bands and the outgoing MC, the atmosphere would have been much stiffer and less conducive for interaction.

But even with the background music playing, people (like myself, some of us and some others from other invited churches) still decided to stay within our cliques. Nothing wrong with that. But it could have been better.

I guess I'm in no position to pass judgement, but nevertheless, I'll criticise in manners as constructive and loving as possible.

(I struggle in this area too.) I personally feel that interacting with others will improve our interpersonal and social skills. It will open us up to a wealth of knowledge, expertise, advice, insights, etc. Like what they said, the world's not your oyster.

But somehow, it could be that we're hindered by the fear of rejection (if they aren't receptive), fear of humiliation (if we stumble and touch the wrong topics) or fear of the unknown (what if he's a brainy rocket scientist who loves eating cod with nickel chopsticks?).

So, the quick solution? Stay within the clique? If others are seen as predators, the clique will be the massive herd - cos there's power in numbers. The clique then becomes your security blanket...very nice and cosy in there, huh?

But what about the newcomers? (now thinking as a cell leader). How about them? What if they are left unattended and un-talked to at a corner?

That's when we have to break out of our comfort zones to mingle with the new people. That's what hospitality is about. If ushers and waiters only cared about herding themselves together and not being spontaneous to respond to a customer's approach, then they would have missed the point.

So let's do our BEST, in being proactive to see the value in meeting new people from all walks of life. To see things from a different lens. To gain another opinion or a different insight. And what more, you are then presented with wonderful opportunities to share God's love with them. Not too bad, huh?

2 comments:

Rose in Bloom said...

yea, it's against the grain, but it's also working away from being a religious social club

Dominic. said...

Yup...it's also for the integration of newer members into our midst.

And if we're still unable to see the importance of it, we should try looking things from their point of view.

Cheers!