when I am weak, then I am strong

2 Cor 12:10 - That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


I've come to a realisation that it doesn't matter how many times you fall in life, but what matters is whether you decided to pick yourself up and move on, or to just remain and sulk in that fallen position.

There are times of 'mountain-tops' - spiritual highs, immense conviction, the I'm-ready-to-do-all-things-for-God kind of drive, etc. Yet, there are also moments of cowardice, lack of confidence, dampened self-esteem, discouragement, disapointment, etc.

But genuine failure is when we choose to remain fallen, choose to NOT improve, choose to NOT move on, regardless of the number of times we experience setback or obstacles.

There are also times when we've experienced breakthrough, ventured on new ground beyond past comfort zones. Now we're in a new land and establishing our foothold. Looking further, the blizzards are harsher, the trails are more perilous and the slope gradients less forgiving. And sometimes, I think to myself, "Can I stay here just a little longer?"

Because it's warm? It's familiar? It's relatively getting more comfortable?

Worse still if the returning scouts bring back unfavourable and discouraging reports. "We've just glanced at the fangs of those mountain wolves." "I guess we should step back a little".

Then we retreat? Go back downhill? Get anxious of our circumstances?

But wait...hold on...take a moment to examine why in the first place we're here.

It doesn't matter if we slip and trip here and there, but as long as we set our hearts on our purposes and goals we planned out and press on in getting there, we WILL make it. And it's not really what we get along the way that matters, it's what we become that's crucial.

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In my pursue of musical passion, I've discovered that it be more worthy of a man with little musical competence but with unstoppable drive to improve (for himself and others), than one with god-like skills and a complacent mindset.

Inevitable are moments when I just ask myself what in the world am I getting myself into, when I could actually spend the time doing other stuff?

These are times when I need to review what I'm living for, here's my list of priorities:

1. Wholehearted, personal devotion to God (not involving ministry)
2. Family
3. Studies/Career; cell group; music
4. Misc ministry-related stuff; friends

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Last note.

I'm really encouraged, revived and refreshed whenever I read about the encounter and purposes God had for Gideon.

Judges 6:12 - When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

By human standards and by his background, Gideon is a nobody. His clan is the weakest in his tribe and he's the least in his household.

But God sees it differently. God chooses to address him not for what he is now, but for what He intends for him to become.

God chooses to address me NOT for what I am now, but for what He intends for me to BECOME.

WOW!!!

What 'Other People' think

Here's an e-newsletter which I found interesting and encouraging. Just bear with some of the language used.

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What 'Other People' Think.

"Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the best" - Henry Van Dyke.

Good one, Henry. Are you afraid of sounding bad? Scared that someone might criticize your lack of talent? Worried what 'other people' will say about you?

If so, you are a loser, pure and simple, give yourself a slap around the head and, as my mother would say to me when I did something stupid, 'wake up to yourself!'

Who are these 'other people' anyway? And why is it that people live their lives caring about what 'other people' think. Can you imagine being a bird sitting up a tree and not singing because you thought the sparrow in the next tree would laugh, or tell the 'other birds' how bad a chirper you were.

It doesn't matter how good or bad you are as long as your are 'having a go'. You can only improve with time. Time is going to pass anyway, no matter how you choose to use it. You can sit there and do nothing or you can improve your talents. Who cares if you sound bad at the moment. Every guitar player at one time or another sounded like shit. In a years time you will be one year older, that's for sure. But will you be a better musician?

And as for those 'other people', tell them to go to hell.

See ya next time

John Stockwell

before I die I want to...

Before I die I want to...
(http://beforeidieiwantto.org/)

I was really amazed and intrigued by this photo archive site containing polaroid snapshots of people with their "Before I die I want to..." lines.

Make me think about what will I say when that question is posted before me (and that I'm given a handful of seconds to answer):

For now it will be this: Before I die I want to be an exceptional musician who positively influences the lives I come across.

After you have come up with that statement, take a step back and discern it carefully - does it really outline the purpose and dreams for your life? And if you really do get there or somewhere near there, are you deeply satisfied?

Sometimes I wonder why wait till the notion of death/end of the line before thinking about such things, when you can do/work on them now? Perhaps it's the sense of urgency invoked. Therefore, it will be tremendously helpful if one can find passion, drive and motivation to work intentionally and diligently towards those dreams and ambition, without having to wait till the dire hour.

the few best things vs the many other good things

Finished reading 70% of John C. Maxwell's "Your Road Map for Success" and I am very convicted and passionate about developing my potential to see my dreams and ambition fulfilled and to help others along the way.

Other than being an obedient and loving child and servant of God, if you ask me what I really, really, really want to do, it just boils down to 2 things: (and these are subject to God's will)

1. being an exceptional Blues guitarist
2. being an RSAF Apache pilot

I have to hang on for the 2nd one because the recruitment officer advised me (during my previous interview) to finish up my undergraduate studies before applying and committing to them. So when I finish up my last paper, I'm gonna apply again...and as usual, it is for real.

Honestly, I'm so passionate about no. 1 that I'm willing to forsake and forgo TV time, movies, gaming time, shopping and chocolates (to save up for an electric guitar). All these things being let go gives me the much needed time and resources to focus on what I'm passionate about.

In life, you can either be a "Jack of all trades, master of none" or you can be a "Jack of few trades, master of one". With determination and tenacity, we can do virtually anything, but we cannot do everything.

I think in so many aspects of our lives (work, school, ministry, relationships), we ought to define and discover that which matters most and focus on them, without being ignorant of the peripherals. If we don't, we may find ourselves easily bogged down with the countless good things (ie. things which we can do, but doesn't really achieve our purpose) and be frequently stressed out and sometimes frustrated.

If we don't define and strive towards where we want to go or see ourselves at, we will drift and be swept around by the things around us.

Being focused on music has indeed opened up more avenues of interaction amongst peers and friends (fellow musicians), but sometimes it seems to leave others out of conversations (ie. they think we're speaking Greek).

Enough of mediocrity...

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Last night I happened to scroll back to some of my older posts of 2006 and am reminded that I've officially started learning that 6-string instrument about 2 years ago. From the posts, I've discovered that I have progressed and improved in skill because I firmly decided and made it a point to work on things beyond my skill (step out of my comfort zone) - which eventually led to today's playing standard.

(I'm going into the technical details here...pardon me...)

Last time I had to work of chords like C, F, B7. Now, I'm working on:

- the pentatonic minor scale, and breaking out of the box pattern
- left hand muting (using fingers)
- left hand partial barring (ie. not all 6 strings; using the 'paw' of my finger)
- alternate/economy picking techniques
- sourcing for a Fender American standard stratocaster and building up funds to get it

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Yes...me birthday is around de corner...me don't really need no presents...me actually need funds in order to get de electric geetar...hahaaa...