I'm currently thinking of shifting to another blog - a private one - which only invited readers and people can view.

I've some sort of had enough of striving to be politically correct and appropriate and real ALL at the same time.

I feel more open to be vulnerable and frank to a few ears - ears which I trust and know that they'll listen.

The URL has already been set up. It's only a matter of time before I send out the invites.

Me is busy bee

I've been extremely busy lately. Not that I want to, but I have no choice...

What frustrates me is that sometimes my busy schedule just eats into the time which I ought to spend with other people...as in, building relationships.

But why are there just so many things to be done?

Maybe it's the season, or the culture, or the circumstances, etc...

In the midst of chaotic running-all-around, busyness, I just hold on to 2 things (or that they are only the 2 things I can do).

1. Pray hard and much.
2. Prioritise well - do things which count.

The rest I'll just leave it to Daddy. You know, He's very powerful and is in control of all things. Heard He's able to stop time too....hahaa...

Currently listening to Sonic Edge Band's: Surrender....

Just love the acoustic guitar's sound in that track.....I guess it's Marcus Wong's Gibson Hummingbird True Vintage...

Okay...back to tutorials and school work....fingers need to rest too, from all the guitar playing today.

Life...enjoying the whole process of it all...

Let me talk about or confess on what I did this week so far and 2 weeks ago (my school's recess week).

For the recess week, honestly speaking, I spent only Monday and a few short afternoon slots to do my work. Other than that, its me on my computer, me on my guitar or me going out. Really.

I've never played so much guitar and enjoyed the whole musical process in this recess week as compared to this WHOLE semester. Coupled with 4 or more occasions of having 11 hours of sleep...woot!

The take-home lesson for myself is: being thick skinned - not being arrogant or rebellious, but being bold and courageous - to dare to relax and pursue my hobbies.

Because I know for many other students, the recess break is a study break for them - to catch up on tutorials, meet up for projects, to mug, etc..Nothing wrong with that, but I realized that since I'll be doing that on the rest of the normal school days, I should make an effort to enjoy myself.

Which brings me to this week. So far, minus the extremely sleepy and grumpy weekday mornings, I've been more excited and happier about living my life. WHY?

It's because I have finally made it a point to pursue my musical passion and that is something which I really want to do...So, in short, it's doing what I like.

Balance is the key. Too much or too little of something is no good. There a time for everything. And it's about daring to step out to pursue your passion.

Nice songs need not be difficult to play

Collide, by Howie Day.

Capo 3.
Chords: G D/F# Em7 C ; G/B C D

Yeap. Nice songs can be pretty easy to learn. Found this one on Youtube. Reminded me when I tried playing this 1 year+ back then (when I wasn't really that confident with the instrument).

I learnt that with more experience, you gain more confidence - and you tend to have greater boldness to experiment new techniques and tricks....rather than sticking to the rigid DOWN-DOWN-UP-UP-DOWN-UP-UP-DOWN...haha...

As much as this musical ability is used to serve God, I'm beginning to see its potential value as an asset...some sort of planning for my future....like 40+ years down the road.

I'm investing in this hobby because I can forsee myself teaching younger ones how to play it, in the late future...yeap...so it's definitely a worthwhile investment, which I believe will eventually pay off.

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Here's a blunt question: Out of the so many hours pursuing [a hobby, interest or activity - sporting, clubbing, chilling, going out, etc], how much beneficial, constructive value have you gained out of it?

Very, very honestly speaking...if you think you play your instrument well enough, or you think you know enough or you feel you're good enough...just go over to Youtube, and you'll be blown away.

My guitar playing was somehow or rather reaching its pleatau stage (if you plot out the progression graph with respect to time). So, I decided to check out Youtube...especially for instructional worship songs.

And boy, was I amazed at the amount of techniques and tricks that those people there have to offer.

I also want to learn....

And I'm way excited...

When you don't really know what to do...just pray...

Praying in tongues.

Is a wonderful gift. Is a gift in which you exercise when you don't know exactly what to utter verbally in prayer. Like some sort of an intercessory panic button.

Some people forsake God. Turn back to their own ways. Indulge in worldly pleasures. Satisfying their lusts and cravings.

Hate the sin, love the sinner. Spear the sin, spare the sinner.

Sometimes, all we can do for the prodigals is to pray for them. When they are being taken hostage by the world.

I will pray for them.

I pray that God will shake them up with whatever means. That if grace, mercy, kindness, encouragement or negotiations fail, He will just rebuke and correct them with storms, pressure or circumstances.

I'm intentionally shelling the prodigals with "wake them up" prayers. They work like intercontinental ballistic missiles. Nothing can stop them.

Let's stop thinking that God can't help them. Stop being preoccupied with doing our own thing. Stop being selfish. Start looking around. Start looking beyond ourselves.

Start praying for them.

Wholeheartedly. Sincerely. Passionately. Earnestly. In our comforts or on the edge. In the business of life, in the quiet place. In tongues, in words.

James 5:16 : Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Re-purification, re-dedication, re-commitment, re-pentance, re-storation, re-pair

Here's how I would describe what I'm striving hard towards in this season of my life:

To remove the high places, smash the sacred stones, cut down the Asherah poles and burn the temples of Baal, in my life.


...enough of "going easy" with sin. Time to purge them forcefully with a militant attitude.

2 Chronicles 7:14 : If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Gee-tar

It's been some time since I grabbed my guitar and had a solid time of playing and mingling with the strings.

Because of time constraints, the most I can do is to stare at it and 'wish that I had more time to play it'.

But if I love something, I would go the extra mile to make time for it, right?

Same applies here.

Just had substantial practice time with it (not too long ago). It's nice to feel my fingers pressing hard against the bronze/nickel strings and my left palm getting cramps due challenging chord changes and stretching.

Finally, the guitar passion is getting back....hehe...

And there's more to look forward to:

• dexterity training
• scales and soloing
• Jazz
• Blues

All I have to do, is to make time for it and just get down playin' it. Woohoo!

I'm going through a rough patch
Drinking the wine of adversity and eating the bread of affliction
My commitments tested, disciple refined
My willpower pounded, faith stretched

Yet few understand what I'm going through
The many battles waged in my head
Countless struggles and challenges
Many times feeling like throwing the towel

Finally realised the fragility of man's help
Some hear but never listen
Some analyse but can't understand
Some acknowledge but don't empathise

This giant hand grabbed me
Threw me around, smashed me on the ground
Shaken me up - all my desires, hopes, securities fall off
All that's left is that giant hand

That hand is God's hand
And I'm now brought to a place where it's only Him and me

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"Those people who just can't see the enemy coming will never understand why some are scrambling to fortify the city."

How far can you see? How distant is your vision? How wide is your perspective?

God's Generation

This struck me hard and ignited my adrenalin as I read it. I hope you feel the same way too...

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So this guy comes up to me and says, "What's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this...The vision?

The vision is JESUS - obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism. They laugh at 9-5 little prisons. They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn't even notice. They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won. They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence. They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying. What is the vision? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation. It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause. A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great "Well done" of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground. The whisper of history in the making. Foundations shaking. Revolutionaries dreaming once again. Mystery is scheming in whispers. Conspiracy is breathing... This is the sound of the underground.

And the army is disciplined. Young people who beat their bodies into submission. Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them? Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, euphoric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter! Waiting. Watching: 24-7-365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside. On the outside? They hardly care. They wear cloths like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them. Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breaths out, they breathe in.) Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres. Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdos! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will com easily; it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, they very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great "Amen!" from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

Lessons on time...

Time is a very big thing to each and every one of us.

What matters is not how much years you have left in your life, but how much life you put into your years.

I've been convicted quite some time ago to live as a worthy and good steward of my time. Time management, like what many of us always hear, is more than just listing the things-to-do and arranging them according to their level of importance, but it's also about looking out for opportunities within the time you have.

One clear way to work on your time management is to minimise inefficiency.

Try to avoid wasting little pockets of time because they do add up at the end of the day. With these little pockets you can take on stuff like praying, reading for edification, or doing a quick recap and revision of your day's lessons.

Also, if you find yourself always being distracted by your own comfort zones (like me), get away from them.

Personally, my efficiency maxes out when I'm on 'foreign' ground with nothing else except the things I have to accomplish. If you always fall for temptation, flee from it next time.

One more thing. If you don't make time for something, you most likely won't have time for it.

I love school!

Yeah! You might say I'm crazy...but I don't really care...coz I'm loving the fact that I'm studying - as in, having the opportunity to materialise my academic pursues.

You see, in life (or the Singaporean life), studies are inevitable. You can't avoid it. And you have to face it no matter what. Also, we should learn to treasure our school days, because people elsewhere don't enjoy the same thing as we do.

So, you can either choose to scrape your way through, or you can enjoy the entire experience of it all. Both ways will still get you to your destination, but the difference is in what you take home during the whole ride.

You can choose to sulk and do whatever that's enough. You put in the minimal, required effort. You fold your arms, take the corner seat, close your eyes and hope that the journey will be over soon.

Or you can choose to put in your utmost into whatever that comes your way - despite how you might feel about it. You do it wholeheartedly for God and you hold nothing back. Even if you don't succeed (in terms of grades, results, or man's expectations), you know that you have already done your best and that is pleasing to God. You open your eyes to the opportunities during the ride, you choose to enjoy it.

I'm sure we will all graduate at the end of the day. But that's not the end of the story. We still have to ask ourselves:

• how much have we taken home from the journey?
• how much have we grown/matured?
• how much have we done which truly counts?
• how many have been blessed during our journey?
• etc...

The choice in yours...

The Rubber hits the Road

School starts for the NTU people tomorrow.

Whether I like it or not, I'll have to face it.

"What you face in life is decided by God, but HOW you face it is entirely up to you."

The past few months have been moments of crafting out my vision for my life and being aware of my purpose for living. The true test of them all starts tomorrow.

I'm stepping back into my academic life with a vision, with purpose, with conviction and awareness that I'm doing all these for God.

And I have faith that God will see me through it all.

But feelings wise, I'm terribly scared. I feel I'm not ready for it yet. I feel that I won't make it as well as before.

But feelings are merely feelings...

Old Photos

Was clearing up my room and stumbled upon our old family photo albums. Haha...many of the pics have faded. Here's 2 of them...

Man...that was really, really a long time ago...

Okay...so a vision's important...really

School starts next week. And I'm feeling kind of worried, anxious and a little fearful. Thinking of the hectic schedule, the impending workloads, and the commitments up my sleeve the next semester makes me wanna dig a trench and hide in it for good.

But I realise that these emotions and feelings aren't everything.

Thing is, to survive the road ahead, I've got to stay focused on my destination. Many times it's easy to lose track of things and wonder off course, only to realise that you've wasted so much time wandering about while you should have spent that time moving on.

My life vision is: To live wholeheartedly and passionately for God, being sharp and sensitive in effectiveness, walking intimately with Him and experiencing His abundance.

My core values are: Discipline, Diligence, Discernment, Passion, Faithfulness, Humility and Integrity.

To tell you the truth, and nothing but the truth, I am ready to die for my vision.

I know this vision is something that will hold me through and help me look beyond my circumstances in the days to come.

Thinking about the reason why I came up with all this actually gives me the conviction and empowerment to strive to live the way God intended me to live. I know I can never rely on emotional highs and sometimes, people because all these will falter.

But one thing I'm sure of is God Himself. He's the One who is faithful and omnipotent even till the very end of time.

So what's your purpose and/or vision?

Bluntly Speaking 4

Please WAKE UP
============

Please look beyond yourself. Please think of your pastors and leaders who are working so hard. You think it's easy to manage people, you think it's easy to prepare for cell, you think it's easy to be forgiving and gracious to you? Think again.

I'm pretty sick and tired of stupid, shitty excuses here and there already.

God is the Almighty - the Most High. He deserves your everything. And you think your excuse is justifiable? Wake up, lah!

You know, people who come to church dragging their feet, people who switch off during the sermon, people who come because of friends, people who take God's grace for granted - I've had enough of these kind of people.

I know everyone have struggles and very big challenges in life.

But do you think the leaders have none? Do you think the leaders have a smooth-sailing voyage all year long? THINK AGAIN.

Leaders struggle with their work, their academic lives, their family commitments, and do you think they deserve your lukewarm and lackluster attitude?

Definitely not.

I pray that God will reveal your heart to you. That He will shake you, stir you up and wake up your idea.

I've been guilty of this before. And honestly speaking, I'm more than willing to be disciplined - no matter how severe or strict it is.

It's time you should too.

Starbucks Tumbler Design 1

Oh, yeah...in Korea I bought this tumbler which has a screw-cap at its base to allow me to slot in my own designs. I thought it was cool to put my graphic design skills back to play...haha.

So, this is what I've came up with. Used mainly Illustrator. Do expect more designs to come, as the heavenly Father pours out His inspiration into me. =)

You know...if you start to:

• look beyond yourself,
• claim authority from Jesus to rise above your circumstances,
• view failure as stepping stones toward success,
• have a vision worth dying for,
• do things with passion and conviction,
• correct your intentions and motives,
• humble yourself,
• be sensitive,
• seek God with all you've got,
• be still and wait upon Him,
• make Him the first priority and not the last resort,
• widen your perspective,
• stand up for your faith,
• etc...

...you'll start to live life differently. Very, very, very differently.

God is really real...

Yesterday during service, God spoke to me through the programme, the flow of events, the worship and a brother's testimony with regards to my previous blog entry "Bluntly Speaking 3".

A very long time ago, I was actually wondering if God is real, could He send me an SMS? But this time, He responded to my blog entry and I knew for certain that He's really real....as simple as that.

I myself can see and feel God working mightily and sovereignly in my life after I decided to make an intentional, conscious effort to seek Him with all I am.

Holding nothing back in our service, ministry and worship unto God is something which He desires.

• I'm tired and sleepy, yet I choose to wake up early to pray.
• We're doing our own things, chatting about stuff, yet we decided to stop everything to seek God.
• I will normally go ahead with my work, but I stopped in my tracks to talk to God.
• I choose to make it a point to pray.
• I intentionally seek God, not due to events or circumstances.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29

Bluntly Speaking 3

It's the heart, not the song
===================

I'm simply tired and quite sick of the fact that you avoid some worship songs because you either don't like them or they're 'over-used' in certain context.

Well, let me tell you. It's the heart that matters, not the song. I'm sure you know that, but head knowledge is not enough. It's gotta be proven in your thought processing and actions.

And if you think that only certain formula or method or style is suitable to worship God, you're so wrong. If you think that this way works because you're comfortable with it, you're also wrong.

How much does your worship cost you? If it costs you nothing, then you won't be giving your best.

I've struggled with certain songs which I rather avoid, but if it's about God (and it should be), then so be it. I'm sick and tired of being stuck in programmes and structure that limit and constrict my freedom to worship God.

"If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed." How free are you? A lot? A little? Or you just don't wanna talk about it?

Programmes are fine, but if you're placing them higher in priority than God Himself, you better watch out.

I've enough of your bullshit.

I hate your ways, but I still love you. Sorry if I sound harsh, but this is something which I have to make a stand for. God deserves to be worshipped wholeheartedly. I'm just defending this.

Accountability

I think accountability is a very powerful thing.

For myself, even though there's an extra layer of responsibility and obligation involved (which isn't really the point), there's an attached sense of ownership and empowerment in it too.

That when I tell a close friend that I'm gonna accomplish this by this time, I feel in myself a constructive and positive sense of urgency to get it done. Not that I'm doing it to please him but I'm doing it to uphold my core value of integrity.

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Somehow or rather after the entire Korea experience, I return home, not feeling the emotional / spiritual high's, but with greater ownership and expectation of what I can do with my life.

Like I'm more willing to surrender, sacrifice and to be stretched for God. To experience His faithfulness and to be living the abundant life which He intended me to live.

As I planned my school timetable, I know it's scarier as compared to last sem's but I feel assured and certain that it's not all about my studies, but about God.

Not negligence or ignorance, but surrender and submission unto Him.

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And I don't know why I have this feeling like something GREAT is gonna happen....

The Night Scene of Korea (this cafe has internet access, that's why)

Hey folks...right now in Korea.

The rest of the group went earlier to visit some fish market. I decided not to join them because I desperately needed to catch up on my rest.

After 1.5 hours of nap, I woke up refreshed and energised. At first, I decided to just explore the vicinity. I walked and walked, pass a police station at a cross-junction (just in case I got lost). Then suddenly, the adrenalin to be more adventurous kicked in.

I braced myself and tried to take the Korean subway.

I roughly got an idea of how their track and station system worked from their map layout. Next, I asked a local how to get to certain stations with shopping malls and all that, so she roughly explained to me in English (which was definitely a remakable effort).

Got out of the station and walked down the street, checking out their nightlife. From what I enquired from the other locals, shopping locations close at 10pm. So what's left right now are mostly convenience stores. And they have soooo many of them.

Okay...I gotta go. Cya all in Singapore soon!

Current station: Kyungsung University
Destination station: Centum City
Track/Line: Jangsan (green line)

Back from Varsity Camp...

The one very 'trademark' thing about our varsity camps is the time where people will sit around with guitars and play and sing along side one another.

And that's one of the very things which I look forward to, for each varsity camp. (not to say that the other activities are inferior, or what...)

It's been around 1 year plus since the day I started learning the guitar.

The days of:

• getting the chord fingerings right
• trying to play songs which I really love
• figuring out the rhythm (strumming patterns)
• seating and awing at how other people play sooooo well

This time round, I got to awe at how people like Pastor John or Marcus run their fingers down the fretboard.

As for myself, it's always a learning journey. And ever since I made it a point/goal/ambition to play well in that instrument, I never fail to recognise people I can learn from and absorb some tips and techniques from them.

Whenever I see someone with superior playing skills, it gives me the drive to improve and to better myself. Not to make myself look good, but to enhance my ability to express myself through music as well as to be able to pass down skills to people who want to learn as well.

I never knew I could teach people the guitar...

I'm seeing that the will to stretch your playing abilities and the conviction to learn beyond what you already know is paying off. In the coming months, I expect to see myself roughing out with the scales for soloing, in Jazz and Blues, and more dextrous finger techniques.

Just do your best, and God will handle the rest

So many times I worry. I speculate and formulate the various possible scenarios and respective consequences attached.

My mind tries to 'foresee' whatever that may happen if I do this or do that.

Whether its my service/ministry for God, studies, family, church, relationships, there's just so much we can do.

The rest I'll have to leave it to God.

I remember many months back when I was still attending my guitar lessons at church. After the morning lessons, the students headed out for lunch. And many of them are adults.

Full of wisdom and insight.

At my table was Uncle Albert who is probably in his 50's. A husband and a father with lots of experience in life.

In the midst of the strings of sentences and phrases exchanged, this came out (something like), "What should I do about the important decisions in life?"

His answer?

Do whatever you can do. Whatever you cannot do, let God handle it.

You can't control:

• whether a particular person gives you acceptance or rejects you
• what your employers think of you
• whether some folks will return to church or not
• what other people do with their lives

But all that we can't control, God can.

So, let's leave those to Him.

Because of my brother's extremely poor results, he's banned from the computer on weekdays.

[If I ever see him slacking and wasting his life away on that machine, I'm gonna....nvm]

I knew it.

God tells us that we reap what we sow. My brother sows procrastination, reluctant attitude and lack of fervour in studies. So, he reaps bad grades and the attached consequences.

We prayed for him. Even when the exams drew near. It's true that God can do miracles if He wants to, but never take His omnipotence for granted.

Don't think that just because you prayed extra hard before the exam, God will do a breakthrough in your papers for you, to compensate for your lackluster efforts.

WAKE UP YOUR BLOODY IDEA!!!

As much as God gives, He takes away as well.

No wonder grace is called grace. Something which you don't even deserve.

When I didn't put in sufficient effort or have been slack in performance, I never even dare to ask God to do miracles for me. How dare I? I would rather ask Him to reveal the areas which needs correction and for a thorough circumcision of my heart.

God deserves the best from you. You never please God by wasting your life away.

If you have no purpose for living, you might as well not live.

Stop going through the motions, stop doing things for the sake of doing them. Seek something deeper and more far-stretched. Sometimes, there's more than just what our minds can conceptualise.

Dear Lord,

I know that at this juncture, my schedule's getting more and more packed. Things, events, meetings and all start to full up the empty slots on my timetable.

I ask that You provide me with effective and efficient time and resource management.

Let not the busy-ness take my heart and passion away from serving You.

And also, please help me set aside time to play and practice the Blues and worship songs too.

May I be a good steward of the gifts, talents and resources You placed in my life.

You be glorified in me, Lord.


In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Spiritual Sponges

During quiet time I read about us being like spiritual sponges.

The more we are humble, open and receptive, the more we will be able to absorb, the more teachable we will be. Thus, we are able to receive and get more input.

The Lord also tells us to be a blessing to others.

So what's next?

He will have to squeeze the sponges in order for them to let go of the blessings in them so that others in turn will receive it.

12 Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4

A sponge will not be very useful if it refuses to let go of its contents when squeezed or pressed.

How willing are you to give up and surrender whenever God 'presses or squeezes' you?

My Prayer for Us and Myself

We are to love others. We are to bless others in our prayers.

But if some people still don't get it and they refuse to change and still continue to take for granted their many blessings, I will not hesitate to ask God to wake up their ideas, to cause something to happen to them to shake them up, or even to bring His wrath upon them.

Like for those who stray away from Him - I still love them and will continue to pray for them. But I also pray that God will wake them up from their 'slumber' and breach their comfort zones, take them out into nakedness, expose them and reveal to them that He is all they need.

It's all for their own good. And if you think ignorance is bliss, you're so wrong.

May Your consuming fire burn in us, O Lord.

there must be more than this

Tim Hughes' title "Consuming Fire" seemed to want to re-ignite a flickering/dying flame of passion in me.

The line, "There must be more than this" kept ringing in my head ever since last week.

And somehow or rather, I feel that at this moment - how I spend my time, how I live my life - there must be more to them. I'm kind of feeling like "it's not it, yet..." and "it's like further potential waiting to be unleashed".

My heart cries out desperately for more. More things to pursue, to engage, to commit, to live for, to give up, to serve, etc.

But some side of me fears burning out and having insufficient time for myself. Internal conflict.

That's something in which God has to help me sort out.

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Honestly, I HATE the feeling of not having anything to look forward to.

Especially for my guitar playing.

I'll be uneasy whenever I find out that there's 'no more' to learn. As in, you have expended your current learning and practice resources.

So that's why I ought to read up and find out more on what I can pick up in the days to come. Like what I mentioned before, "To take your playing to a higher level".

I'm not being obsessed with technicalities, but I'm cultivating a spirit of excellence in me, to strive for and give my best in whatever I'm pursuing.

So great to have the Blues to learn and fingerstyles to brush up on....

I'm having a little efficiency problem

Erm...from what I see myself doing right now, I think I'm experiencing some sort of an efficiency problem. My productivity level's way too low at the moment and I fear for the worst.

I'm unable to wake up on time (6.30am) and I snooze/ignore the alarm clock for too long. When I wake up I dilly-dally and wonder about aimlessly.

I know I've got some admin work to do for church events and camps, but I can't take all day to do them right?

I've got my Blues dummies book and guitars lying around. I play and practice on them. I try new things, tricks and techniques on them. But still, I sense that my life right now is way too unproductive.

I fear I might already be.......slacking....shit!

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After analyzing today's work progress (if any), I found out that much of the inefficiency is derived from me trying to do too many things at the same time.

I can have my guitar on my lap, then I practice worship songs, then go check out some blues licks and rifts, listen to their mp3's, check my email, reply emails, surf some guitar sites, etc.

Thing is, I'm a person who's better at doing a few things, if not one, and doing them/it well.

Therefore, I should focus and not digress. One thing at a time, Dominic....one thing at a time.

Yesterday was my first time attending the overnight prayer. It's from 11.45pm - 6am.

During the event and all, we prayed for homosexuality issues in our world and in our nation as well as the 3 different ministries in church - [1] youth, [2] children and [3] healing and counselling.

At around 5 plus (where the praying peaked), I was almost on the verge of dozing off and even had to force my eyes open to pray, if not I won't be surprised if my mind happened to drift away in thoughts.

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The previous Saturday marks the end of my 8-lesson guitar module for intermediate players.

It was really an experience attending the lessons.

Firstly, I had to wake up very early in the morning and I usually suffer from the lack of sleep because my events and plans for Fridays always end quite late.

Secondly, I was really inspired by the technical skills and passion which the teachers displayed. I find myself wanting to improve my abilities so that one day I can 'be like them'.

Thirdly, my playing style was shaken up violently by the honest and straightforward comments which they made. One of the teachers was very strict with us, yet so accurate in pinpointing the areas which we have to improve.

All in all, I wouldn't be playing what I'm currently playing if not for the teachers and their lessons. Even if I had to endure and bear many things in mind, it was still worth it at the end of the day.

Bluntly Speaking 2

How are you going to spend your holidays?
==============================

Yes, I know. Unwind, relax, seat back, space out, daydream, do whatever you want to do, etc.

But what EXACTLY do you want to do?

Uh-huh, you can chill out, go out, watch movies, hang out, party, sleepover, stay up all night and all that...but don't tell me that's all you have for 100+ days. If so, that's very sad.

Honestly, if you don't really have any plans for the holidays, I can assure you that you won't really be doing and accomplishing much.

At the end of the day, ask yourself, "How can I effectively maximise my free time?"

To be frank, count the number of days in your holidays, remove 1/3 (that's for sleeping) and the remainder is what you have left. Not really that much, right?

The Inevitable Holidays

Put it this way: Exams are inevitable, so are the holidays. Have we ever thought of this as well?

I'm kind of having mixed feelings this time, before I start my holidays tomorrow (after I finish my last paper in the morning).

One thing is that I'm glad that I can finally do what I really what to, but the other thing is that I fear I may not have planned adequately for the vacation period.

And for myself, bad planning means a great deal of inefficiency - wasted time, too much staring at the ceiling, too much slacking, etc. All this mean a rather wasted holiday.

On the other hand, I need space and time to unwind and catch up on my other hobbies and commitments without burning myself out.

So what I'll do is to spend the first few days coming up with a more concrete plan for the holidays, and also to purely relax and unwind.

Currently, the things I have in mind and have in store are (not in order of importance):

1. learn more styles, techniques and tricks on the acoustic guitar
2. try being a supporting/backup guitarist in my and my parents' cell
3. pick up the bass guitar
4. resume learning driving
5. some personal graphic design project(s)
6. jam sessions (many many!)
7. varsity outreach programmes
8. secondary school camp (logistics)
9. varsity camp
10. conference and mission trip to South Korea
11. campus crusades' training for group leaders
12. vacation to Australia to visit friends down there (hopefully)
13. thoroughly tidying up the many shelves in my house
14. doing my quiet time and worship in the park very early in the morning
15. training and taking IPPT
16. cycling around the estates
17. teaching some of my cellmate(s) the guitar (but seriously, I don't know how to start)
18. and all the usual chilling out, going out, movies, shopping, etc.

Yup. 102 days to do all these. It's really gonna be an experience.

Am almost there. 1 more paper to go.

Was practising for my song presentation this afternoon. To say the truth, "Holy is the Lord" isn't a difficult song to play. The key is in G major and the chords are easy to handle.

Am going to use that song....but the thing is, I'll be playing it differently this time.

In the past, I can just grab the guitar and the pick and hit it. Not really a big issue.

But for now, I'll be presenting the song without using the pick. Just the guitar and my fingers. I'm doing this because:

• I can fingerpick, then strum
• I can vary the dynamics
• I can feel for the strings

The 3 above-mentioned points is (honestly) enough to shake the way I play that instrument. But it takes a lot of practice, patience and perseverance.

Simple to say, but not easy to press on with it.

They say musicians learn faster by seeing, hearing and watching other people play. VERY TRUE!

During the previous guitar lesson, one of the teachers screened a short segment of the Hillsongs "Mighty to Save" DVD. The song "None but Jesus" was shown. It had Darlene Zschech as the lead singer and Reuben Morgan as the acoustic guitarist - that's all.

The way Reuben played the guitar simply inspired me to take my playing to a higher level. There was just such a nice touch to his playing and it really set the mood and atmosphere right for the song.

Furthermore, Reuben was strumming with his fingers! Which is why I need to get that technique right. Also, my guitar teacher is 'pick-free' and his plays exceptionally well.

So much things to pick up and so many people to learn from. I know what I'm gonna do during the holidays...hee...

Bluntly Speaking 1

Punctuality
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It is a matter of discipline. It is a reflection of how important you place that particular meeting, gathering or event in your heart.

If you are late or going to be late, make an effort to inform the respective organisers about it, and apologise when you arrive. Don't even think of acting as if nothing happened when you arrive late.

If you are consistently late, examine yourself. Observe your tendencies and scrutinize the way you plan your schedule and time.

If you tend to dilly-dally, prepare in advance so that you have more time as buffer just in case anything unexpected pops up along the way.

By the way, don't expect others (who came earlier) to wait for you, to prepare a grand ceremony for your arrival, etc.

Instead, you should respect those who came on time. Respect them for making the effort to observe punctuality and be fair to them. So, blame no one if you miss out on any parts of the event.

Remember, it starts with us.

I do have severe tendencies to be late. I think I have set aside sufficient time to make my way there, but many times, I'm wrong.

Therefore, (like what I said), I prepare in advance, I wake up earlier, I allocate buffer time. I need to do all this so that not only we can start things on time, but we can also end it on time.

Let's be punctual, shall we?

Bluntly Speaking (Prologue)

For this category of posts, I shall speak from the bottom of my heart. I will be very straight to the point, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

I'm sorry if I may be a little too harsh or blunt with my words, but...nvm...

Fact is, there are certain issues bugging me which I need to address. And I will.

3 papers down, 3 more to go!

This morning's Computing paper wasn't as nerve-wrecking as I thought it was to be. Thank God for His comfort, reassurance and most of all, His wisdom.

I've never felt this confident in dealing with a paper of a subject which I can't really get a hang of. I was uncertain and definitely anxious about it at first.

A glance at the past year papers invokes unspeakable fear and stress in me.

"How am I going to handle these questions?" "What if this sort of stuff really come out?"

Fears, uncertainties, worries, concerns, etc. The whole band of emotional stress twisting my head in knots, including the apparent fatigue and exhaustion from lack of sleep.

But God overcame them all.

And lifted me high above my problems.

Those who soar on wings of eagles will realise that the size of their problems is not a matter of difficulty but of perception.

In the midst of the stress

My buddy and I will always do the countdown. So for today, it's 8 more days to the end of the exams.

Yes, I can't wait for the holidays to come. But before I go into the details of what I plan to do during those few months of break, I shall get a little serious now with certain issues.

During this period of examinations, I must really take a tough stance against procrastination and complancency. Even on the last day of the exams, I mustn't let my guard down. For a single weak point in the formation will lead to the collapse of the entire army.

This morning I took out my laptop and I got distracted. Wasted quite a bit of time surfing around instead of diligently pracitising my guitar playing and mentally preparing myself for the afternoon paper.

I'm not being harsh on myself. I'm being firm. And certain things cannot be compromised. Because after the exams, I have (somewhat) all the time in the world to do whatever I want, so for now, I'll concentrate on my exams.

Reality is, for certain things in life, we only have one shot at it - so give your best. Do whatever you want to do later.

=====

I long to have another jamming session with the rest of my cell-mates after the exams.

In view of this, after evaluating our previous jamming session, I noted one major concern: the need for more dynamics.

How?

• giving more space during parts of the song
• listening to one another
• varying touch and volume
• exercising variation in playing

In line with this (plus the guitar lessons I'm currently taking on in church), I have looked at my personal playing skills and I realised that there is a dire need for improvement.

Which is why I'm constantly on the look out for more ideas, techniques, tricks, advice, etc from various sources.

And to enhance our playing dynamics I'm spurred on to learn damping techniques, to sharpen my fingerplucking skills, and most of all to have pick-independence - to strum, pluck and do everything with my fingers only.

I have thought of picking up the bass guitar during the holidays too, but I'll see how it goes first. Still got way too much things to learn and do on the acoustic.

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Will share more in the entries to come. Back to studying. God bless!

Exams....

Yes...they are here. Mine's starting on the17th of April till the 27th.

The usual mugging will start soon. But the one thing different this time is that I will still devote time to practice my guitar playing.

The last semester I didn't touch that stringed-instrument for around 3 weeks plus and when I did pick it up after the exams were over, the feeling was terrible. (Not to say that I'm good or what, but) I felt so mediocre. I felt as if I've lost quite a bit of experience during the time of abstinence.

Like swimming or cycling, you can never forget how to play an instrument after putting it aside for some time. The issue is, will your playing skills be as proficient? Answer is no.

Therefore, I feel convicted that there is always a need to at least maintain my playing proficiency. When the exams are over, I will be experimenting new songs, new styles, new techniques, new genres, etc.

I'm always striving to find more things to do with that instrument. To learn new stuff so that there's always something to look out for.

Nothing wrong playing whatever you're familar with, but if you really want to improve, then you will have to step out of your comfort zone to experience something different - then, will you be able to take your playing to a higher level.

And yes, May's approaching, the month (last year) when I picked up the guitar and decided I wanted to learn how to play it. Will talk about the details in another entry.

For now, all the best for your exams. Will see you at the finish line. And will definitely need jamming sessions to release the pressure valve.

God bless!

To take your playing to a higher level

One very important lesson I learnt from our church's guitar lesson:

If you want to be good at playing or doing a note/chord/song/solo/rift/particular technique/etc...

...do it 1000 times.

If that's still not enough, do it 1000 more times. If not, add more 1000's till you are good/satisfied.

Practice makes perfect. And one thing which the instructor said to us is that there is bound to be pain and practice regardless of your playing competency or experience.

Fingers' gonna hurt and left palm's gonna get cramp. All these pain for the greater gain.

=====

If you think you are very familiar with a song in the key of A, C, D, E or G, use the capo and get a different playing experience.

For the songs in Key G: Capo 2, play in F

For the songs in Key D: Capo 2, play in C; or Capo 3, play in B

Barre chords are good for you. They strengthen your muscles and barring finger. A little practice everyday makes a proficient player in the long run.

Experiment more. That's the fun and vibrance of music.

I'm not a workaholic

Please....don't think that my life is all about studies. And all I do is study, mug, and do my tutorials. Don't think that I'm always on the look out to accomplish more. And don't think that I essentially have no life.

In fact, the reason why I'm trying to work so hard (and sometimes place myself in 'overdrive' mode) is so that I have time for other people/things. Because the more work I get done now, I will have more spare time for my other commitments and I can proceed with them without the nagging feeling that I'll have to disengage from them soon to get back to my unfinished business.

I'm currently pushing myself harder during the weekdays so that I have time for church, family, friends and some personal recreational time during the weekdays. I'm not doing this because I'm addicted to my work. No!

There's already a lot to be done.

Sometimes when I'm close to the point of 'death', as in burnout, I feel like throwing in the towel. But I know I'm not doing what I'm doing in vain. In a way, it's the business in life which makes it interesting. Imagine if you have nothing to do, no commitments, no hobbies, nothing to look out for and too much time in your hands...I think that kind of life is a wasted life.

And for those of you folks who think that I'm "missing out a lot" when I stopped playing computer games, think again. What do all these give/benefit you besides the temporal stress relief?

Not to say that I haven't played them before, but in fact, I played away a few years of my life with them. And now, I say that that's the wasted life.

Pick up something more constructive. Computer games isn't morally wrong or detrimental to society, but is that the best avenue for you to channel your time into?

Picking up a skill would be great way to improve yourself and unwind your stress at the same time. Learn a musical instrument, learn a new computer software, learn a new sport, learn how to cook, learn how to fix hardware, learn some soft-skills (time management, effective leadership, interpersonal communication, etc).

Make the best use of your time, because life is short.

And whoever thinks that Christians have no life, PLEASE.... We have the most life, in fact. Eternal life - life in Jesus Christ.

God bless.

I'll wait on You, Lord

There are certain aspects of my life which are exceptionally crucial to me. Some private ones and some public ones (like studies, family, church, work, etc).

As for those which are critical and can affect the days of my life to come to great extends, I shall seek and inquire the Lord of them. No answer, nevermind...Continue waiting.

I shall stop being a smart-Alex in the decisions I make. Instead to going ahead with them and only stopping when God says "No", I'll wait until God says "Yes"...then I'll proceed.

If He doesn't respond, I'll wait and will continue waiting because I know that He will answer and speak to you if you seek Him with all you've got.

There are certain desires in me which I would dearly like them to be granted/fulfilled. But looking at whatever I been through with the Lord, I decided to place them below Him in terms of importance and priority. Those things I may not have, but Him, I surely have.

Certain desires in me drive me to the point whereby the moment God takes away any part of it from me, I'll feel somewhat despaired and empty. That doesn't look right at all. Because the Lord gives and takes away, I will bless Him for the times He takes things away from me, so that I'm just left with Him.

...Till the point when that particular desire is nothing compared to Him. And if it's meant for you and according to His will, nothing can stop Him for granting you that desire.

If it's His way, He will make a way. If it's not His way, He will close all ways even though in your eyes the path is apparent.

Speak to me, Lord...that's all I desire. I'm sick and tired of being so preoccupied with serving You that I'm not even that close to You. I don't want to be obsessed with doing things for You that I neglect the relationship between the both of us - intimacy.

I want to hear Your voice, O Lord. I want to be so close to You, like how close the prophets were to You. Even though You're omnipresent, I'm desperate for Your manifest presence.

Let's meet up more often God...

Okay, it's our 1-week recess period now. I know, but I'm very stressed.

There's so much things I wanna do (which I couldn't during the normal school days) and there are so much things I ought to do (notice the difference). And add on the usual obligations, duties and roles to perform, etc.

Yes, I'm rather stressed. Even though we're only in the 2nd day of this 1-week break, I can feel the immense pressure on my head and chest right now. The urge to get things done.

You might say, I'm crazy and I'm being too hard on myself, but honestly, I feel worse when the deadline's over and objectives are not achieved as expected. That would make me feel worse.

So that's why I'm pushing myself onwards to diligence and proactivity in the things I do. Doing it all for God's glory.

Hahaha...it's like saying "No" to complacency and procrastination. Yeah, those two are my most stubborn enemies. Whenever I think I'm over them, they suddenly appear beneath my skin.

Hmm...time to get back to my Effective Communication assignment...

God bless!

He put in me a new song

Somehow or rather, this CNY period, with all the late nights, binge snacking and excessive feasting, my body's not feeling very good. And there's the persistent holiday mode still inside of me.

But one awesome thing happened during this short holiday period!

The Lord inspired me to write a song for Him.

Was in the shower when I was humming some random melody until a distinct tune came up. Then I used it alongside some lyrics (which I crafted on the spot) and it sounded alright! After the shower, I went to my desk, got out my journal and penned down the prototype lyrics. Took my guitar and tried to give the melody a more definite chord progression.

And pooh! It fit in well. So I stayed up until 2am plus coming up with the chorus (with God beside me and His infinite wisdom and creativity) and then the lyrics for the verse. Sounded well too. It's a praise song with an upbeat tempo.

Isn't our God so wonderful?

Alrighty, in the days to come I'll formulate a more concrete structure to the song, perhaps a chord progression for the introduction as well. And also to come up with a second verse or maybe even a third.

I'll share it with you folks when I'm done.

God bless!

Sorry if this sounds cheesy.

Studying (memorizing facts, formulae, concepts, knowledge and all) is like building up your city's walls.

Getting exposure (doing tutorials, past year exam papers, etc) is like training and equipping the troops on the ramparts.

The enemy is slowly marching towards you. At every moment, their army is a step closer to your walls.

If you don't study, you may have troops (without walls) but their line of defense will melt when the enemy charges and pierces through with brute force.

If you don't practice, you may have sturdy walls, but with few guards on it, the walls and defenses will soon fall into the hands of the enemy's siege weaponry.

So, you must study and practice as well.


Dear Lord,

In the things that I do, I ask of You for David's passion, Solomon's wisdom, Daniel's discipline and Nehemiah's diligence.

That whatever I do will count towards bringing You glory.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Unwell, uneasy, uncomfortable

Been feeling the combination of these 3 for the past few days and even now.

Superficially, it's could be due to my busy schedule for last week, coupled with school work and the lack of sleep and all that. But there could be spiritual reasons to it as well.

Ever since the Crusaders began their 13-day period of praying and fasting to seek God's face, I must say that my walk with Him has been much closer than before. But I'm not going to stop there.

I want more of Him. Less of me and more of Him. Even...none of me and all of Him.

Last week I was leading worship on 2 consecutive evenings. Thursday was Crusade's crossroads (some sort of a mini-service with worship and message) and Friday was for cell.

Honestly speaking (for such a perfectionist like me), I went up with high expectations for myself (and for my team, for the Thur worship stint). I made sure the flow was right, that we had somewhat sufficient preparation and set the chord progressions straight. All the nitty-gritty stuff.

Then we did worship.

And I was stunned when I looked at the body languages of the worshippers. I was somewhat disappointed. "Hmm...how come they're so stiff?" "Or is it just me?"

I thought I did something wrong or did not do something right for the time being. Then, I decided to let God take charge. Absolute charge.

Bluntly and frankly speaking, I went on with the worship proceedings without thinking about anything except God. Seriously, I don't care if other people dragged their feet into His courts or if they didn't like the songs being sung. I don't care. I only care about whether I'm able to connect with God or not.

It's not (or NEVER) about me, nor them, nor the person beside you or me, nor the competency of playing an instrument, nor the song, it's about Him.

Which leads me to the point where I felt uncomfortable spiritually because I was approaching Him with things still obstructing my view of Him.

Foolishness are the things which hinder you from worshipping Him wholeheartedly.

I feel sick when something, or someone, or some situation or some experience or some etc, etc prevents me from seeking His face.

I appreciate reality checks. Why? Not only is it because we live in reality (hope you know this by now) but because God is real.

Yes. He has poured out His infinite love and unfailing grace to you and me. But that does not imply that we can have reason to be reluctant when coming to Him. When we drag our feets and go about our daily lives only seeking Him for a matter of convenience.

He's the Name above all names. Repent and ask Him for forgiveness if you EVER use His name in vain.

We ought to revere God with our everything.

I'm sorry if certain things I say here hurt or damage your feelings, but this is necessary. He is the most high and I have to defend Him for His sake not out of the sense of duty, but because I love Him.

God bless.

Stretched and Challenged in many ways

I'm tired, got many things to do in very little time. Much of time spent on school work, then followed by things for God (church, cell, crusade). What's left is for eating, drinking, rushing here and there, sleeping, etc.

Almost no time for myself. Or if I have, it just passes by way too quickly.

So much things to do. But I'm not complaining. In fact, I'm thankful that such a chain of events is occurring. Must be from God. To keep me on the move and on the ball all the time for Him.

It's like a marathon. To keep going is to keep going. If you want to keep going, you have to keep going (maintaining momentum). To keep the fire for God burning, you will have to exercise your passion and live out your faith daily.

I'm glad that in such a context, there is an abundance of opportunities to step out of your comfort zones, to be challenged by God and to stretch your hunger for Him. It's only in the midst of the storms and when the rubber hits the road when you can finally put all you have envisioned and planned into practice.

I'm being optimistic on this one. It's not that I'm ignoring the pile of work to be done, but I'm seeing things with a different perspective.

Seeing problems as challenges and viewing burdens as opportunities to rely totally on God.

I'm really in a situation where I need God more than ever before.

• If you're tired or exhausted, don't give up, give it to God and ask Him for His refreshment
• If you're pissed by the world, don't flare up in anger, ask God for His grace
• If you're hard-pressed for time, don't ask for less work, ask God for better time management
• If you're faced with intimidating quantities of work, don't ask to be excused from them, instead, ask God to grant you stronger arms and tougher bodies to bear them

It's only in the furnace of affliction where God refines you. It's only in the pressures of life, where your character will be hardened.

If you're stressed or burdened in the future, think about the diamond. It's because of pressure which transformed filthy carbon into precious stones.

God bless.

How do you know if something is of God's will?

Interesting question, right?

I think it would be easier to answer if the question was: How do you know if something is OUT/NOT of God's will?

Hmm...from experience (personal and from others), here's some things I found out.

[Disclaimer: These aren't absolute/ten-year-series answers. They are just observations. Such experiences can vary from person to person.]

• that something is hindering you from worshipping God wholeheartedly
• that something is something you probably wouldn't proudly and publicly share with fellow believers
• you feel promptings and spiritual nudges when doing that something and you know it doesn't give you a sense of peace
• to do that something, you have to make deliberate actions and plans (like the opposite of a God-ordained event)
• that something is making you suffocated and constipated inside (may be mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or a combination of them)
• that something makes you spiritually numb in the house of God and in the worst case scenario, makes your heart hardened

So, the conclusion is: Stick to His will. Not our wills but His be done.

My maths tutorial, ahh....

Lemme tell u something. I just finished doing my maths tutorial (even though there are some questions which I have no idea how to deal with them). Started on them since 8 or 9 plus.

Well, that's typical of my maths tutorials. I still remembered my first math tutorial in semester 1 (I'm right now doing my 2nd semester). It's a Friday night and people have left for home after lessons and stuff. And I'm in my hostel doing my math. From 6 plus after dinner right until 10 plus.

My other church cellmates at that time were viewing fireworks at the Esplanade, I can still remember.

And guess what, this piece of work which I spent 4+ hours on is just covered in a 1-hour tutorial slot. Heh...sounds, like not worth it, right?

Wrong! Still must do. Because I am student and I want to be good good student. I want to make God and my parents proud of me.

Wah! I tell you, the sense of satisfaction from finishing it is veri veri shiok, one!

...but my brain going to explode liao...

My theme for 2007

I know this may be a little late to state things for 2007, but better late than never.

Ever since a certain string of events in late 2006, the Lord somehow challenged me to take my faith and trust in Him to a higher level for 2007.

So, the theme for 2007 goes along the lines of doing more for God.

During the last week of the holidays (before school starts), by brother (in-Christ) WR and I decided to take time off to do a prayer-walk in NTU and SIM. The night before while I was seeking God for His leading and direction, He gave me some thoughts.

CFC. Not the gas which depletes the ozone layer, but Courage for Christ. It's corresponding question will be: Do we dare?

Do we dare to:

• make a difference/make an impact
• do more for Him
• sacrifice for Him
• be holy and set apart
• obey Him
• step out of our comfort zones

The list is definitely inexhaustive. You should get the gist of it all by now, right?

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As much as this is a challenge, this is also a choice. We aren't forced or threatened to do more for God. We still have our free wills intact. God is gentle and gracious.

Bluntly speaking, you don't have to do this. You can still do your own thing, do whatever you are doing, go to church, go to cell, day-in and day-out. Nothing wrong with that. Not sinful. No criminal intent involved.

But ask yourself this question: Is that all? Can I do more?

If we were to do more for God, we have to make the intentional effort to sacrifice and surrender certain things to Him. He can't use us if we still stubbornly hang on to our wills and things not of Him.

If you decide to take the bold leap of faith, prepare for more challenges on the road ahead. Certain things God will remove, certain things God will add. But whatever the case, it's all from His good intentions.

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Yup. School's already begun. Instead of feeling reluctant to hit the books and lecture threatres, let us embrace it with anticipation and enthusiasm because God placed us in our respective institutions for a reason.

Take each day, week, month, semester, academic year as opportunities to give glory to God. To be good stewards of His resources. To live the life He made you to live.

Lastly, here's a thought:

Instead of just doing what you/others think you can do, strive for what God knows you can do.

How's your first day of school?

Just came back from my first Campus Crusade DG (Discipleship Group) meeting. Got to know one another better (background, course of study, plans for the year, etc). And we prayed for one another's needs.

I must say I'm really refreshed just by that 1-hour something meet. It's not that we're doing non-academic stuff, but it's because God's there.

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Even though we may know the system better this time round, but that's no excuse for complacency. Instead, we should learn from our past mistakes and anticipate future challenges on the road ahead.

From what I know, there's something in me that's just different from this world.

Disclaimer first....that I'm not boasting. You may find this in you too. I won't be surprised.

There's something in me which wants to make a difference. It wants to have a proactive part to play in the course of things. Yes, making a difference (I know you heard that many times), not waiting for a difference.

Like, I don't need drugs or alcohol to make myself rot, just inactivity, passiveness. Yeah, just daydream, do nothing, talk only, fantasize, wonder, etc.

But in many cases, this 'thing' has been pacified by peer pressure, complacency and procrastination.

Just to sidetrack, the reason why I love war-films (with all the battle scenes) is because the soldiers are doing something. They have an active and crucial role to play. They are giving up their lives for a cause. Seeing them charge at the frontlines gives me the adrenaline rush. Partially due to effects or dynamic cinematography, but mainly because the 'thing' in me wishes to do the same.

Gore and bloodshed aside, sometimes I feel like jumping into the screen and have a part to play in the war.

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That's about making a difference. Life, you can say consists of several battles. And as Christians, yes, there's spiritual warfare waging around us as well.

In fact, we are participating in the war whether we know it or not. We all have a part to play. That's why the Bible mentions about the armour of God.

I realised that many times, at most, I'm just cheering on my fellow comrades in the battlefield. I hide behind cover and in the safety of the barracks while they charge and march forward. But God somehow made me realise that I'm not made for this. Through certain events He somehow transferred me back to the frontlines.

Feels and sounds scary to me at first, but I know that this is something I have to do. I need to do something about it.

I want to be in the frontlines. I want to trade my life for His glory, my blood for His honour. All that I have for Him. Bullets may whiz pass me (peer pressure) and shrapnel pierce me (persecution) but I know that it's worth it.

Some thing is only worth living for, if it's worth dying for.

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Been exceptionally encouraged by the book I borrowed which talks about the lives of Chinese missionaries, in their vision and efforts to spread the gospel in the strongholds of Islam, Hinduism and Buddhism.

It's not that we need to become missionaries to live a life worthy of God. What we need is their passion and attitude. That's what makes the difference.

(I'm not out of my mind when I'm typing this.) I thank God for allowing all the adversities, trials, tribulations and hardships in my life. Thank you God for all these. My character can only be refined in the furnace of affliction and hardened under the pressures of life.